and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
