I think I am morally bankrupt
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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