Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
