You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
