fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
