I wanna bring you to show and tell
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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