mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
