Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
