Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
