Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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