Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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