if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
40s are totally the cure
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
