Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
