There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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