I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
