oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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