you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
