It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Where is the hickey?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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