Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
