Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
