I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
