Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
