I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
