I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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