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Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
