I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
