Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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