Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
