i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
