5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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