I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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