spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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