Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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