Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There are leaves in my underwear?
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