He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
