And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
