Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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