That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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