Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
