I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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