her vagine was all disorganized.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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