Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
