I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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