You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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