I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
