So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
