She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
