Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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