So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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