My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
