one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
