i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I need to stop coming to work sober
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
